.jpeg "7 Ways to Fix a Broken Marriage After Separation")
Newly separated and feeling hopeless about your relationship? It’s not always easy to know what to do when you want to save your marriage, but it can be done! Use these seven strategies to help fix your broken marriage after separation and start building your happily ever after again.
1) Figure out what is wrong
The first step in fixing any relationship is figuring out what’s broken. If you’re married, or separated but still committed to working things out, it may be easy for you to acknowledge that your relationship is on its last legs. You might be ready for a separation, but it could also be that something smaller has set off an avalanche of events that have left you feeling hopeless and alone.
That’s okay! There are ways to fix a broken marriage after separation even if you don’t think there is anything wrong with your relationship. Just as it can be hard to pinpoint why exactly you broke up with someone, so too can it be difficult to figure out why your marriage is failing. Whether you’ve been married for years or months, whether one person cheated or neither did—whatever happened, know that there are ways to fix a broken marriage after separation.
But first: Try counseling. Counseling doesn’t necessarily mean couples therapy; it can just mean meeting with a therapist to talk about how you feel about each other, what went wrong, and how you want to move forward. This process is often more effective than trying to work through issues by yourself.
2) Ask for support from family and friends
If you want your marriage to survive, it is essential that you ask family and friends for support. Let them know what’s going on and how they can help by sending cards and letters. Let your children know that their mother or father misses them. Encourage them to continue spending time with both parents after separation so that they have contact with both of their primary caregivers on a regular basis.
Also, be sure to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Make sure you are eating well and getting enough sleep; exercise regularly; and find someone who will listen to you when things get tough. Having good coping skills will help keep stress levels down and improve your chances of making it through intact.
The hardest part about being separated from my wife was not being able to talk to her about our issues and trying to work through them together. Although we had been married for several years, we didn’t really communicate about important matters in our relationship. I think many couples fall into this trap: They start out strong in communication but gradually let it slip away as other priorities take over their lives.
3) Get advice from therapists
Although there’s no one-size-fits-all approach for fixing a broken marriage, you should seek out guidance from those who can help—therapists and counselors specializing in family dynamics. If you need help locating therapists near you, don’t forget about Google Maps.
You can also search by specialty (for example, marriage counselor) or by location (for example, marriage counselor Boston). You may also want to check with your local university as they often have free counseling services available. And if you’re looking for more specific advice on how to fix a broken marriage after separation, be sure to ask lots of questions!
4) Be open and honest with each other
When you’re not speaking with your spouse, it can be very easy to allow negative emotions and thoughts to fester. Be open and honest with each other so that these emotions are addressed quickly and you can get back on track. Communicate in person rather than through social media, texts or email messages—these methods of communication might seem easier, but they make effective dialogue more difficult. If you need help getting started, try making a list of things you want to say or ask before approaching your spouse; it will help keep both of you focused during what could be an emotional conversation.
And if you have children, remember that their feelings about your separation are important too. Discuss them openly and explain how you plan to deal with issues as they arise; avoid trying to shield them from any information about your situation unless there is truly no way around it. Your children may react strongly at first, but most experts agree that openness is key for helping kids adjust well to changes in their family dynamic.
5) Spend time together as a couple
Despite what you may think, spending time together as a couple is critical. Just because you’re separated doesn’t mean that you don’t need to spend time together. If anything, it only serves as motivation for couples to work harder in trying to fix their relationship and save their marriage.
There are lots of activities you can try together like going out for dinner or even shopping at your favorite store. Even if you have kids, there are ways to make sure they’re not around when you two want some alone time. So take advantage of these opportunities! It will help bring you closer together.
6) Think about counseling options
In some cases, it might be best to seek marriage counseling prior to filing for divorce. The guidance of a professional may provide you with important insights and better allow you to understand your options. In some cases, it may even give you an avenue toward saving your marriage after separation.
If there’s any chance of reconciliation in your marriage, counseling is one of your best options. It also can be helpful for future parenting after separation or divorce if there are children involved. You don’t have to wait until you file for divorce to get help from a counselor. There are many reasons why seeking out marriage counseling after separation could benefit your situation.
For example, it can help you identify problems within your relationship that led to separation. It also gives you time to reflect on how you want to move forward without feeling pressured by impending divorce proceedings.
Additionally, talking through issues with a third party often helps couples see their situations more clearly and objectively than they might on their own. When done well, counseling can be incredibly valuable—even if it doesn’t save your marriage after separation.
7) Develop new interests together
New interests can bring you and your partner closer together. Instead of constantly going out with your friends or coworkers, take some time with each other each week that’s focused on learning new skills and hobbies. You can even try something new together.
If you don’t have time for a class or course, there are tons of DIY projects online that you could learn at home with your spouse. And it doesn’t have to be just about fun—you can also get into activities like gardening, cooking, and woodworking that will make your house a better place to live in. Learning together will help both of you develop new skills and become more productive.
Plus, taking on an activity as a couple can give you common ground to talk about outside of work. That way, when one person has had a bad day at work, they can tell their spouse all about it without having to worry about making their partner feel left out if they haven’t been experiencing anything similar themselves.