Anxiety frequently targets the things we value most in life, as it does with anything significant. Relationship anxiety is a relatively common occurrence that can manifest as jealousy, doubts, dread, retreat, and other emotions. For many individuals, this worry might manifest as a lack of security in a romantic connection.
Security is a concern that many people have, whether they are in a brand-new relationship or have been together for some time. There are several factors that might be at play if your relationship is unstable. But what if it's your partner who is having trouble? How can you provide a spouse who feels uneasy support? How can you bolster your partner's sense of security in your union? What is the best way to show someone you care? All those inquiries and more will be addressed in the following sections, along with some helpful advice on how to make your partner feel as safe as possible.
Understand What's Going On
First, recognize that insecurity can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Does your spouse suspect you of cheating on them? When they don't hear from you, do they get suspicious? Do they criticize your relationships or your behavior?
Relationship insecurity that manifests in other ways is distinct from the type that manifests in jealousy.
Maybe your partner is frightened of losing you, which is why she lacks assertiveness and avoids conflict. Perhaps she continually worries about your feelings for her and regularly seeks your affirmation that you are interested in her.
Before you move forward, you must understand what it is that you are dealing with.
Learn To Listen
There are a few techniques to comprehend the anxieties and uncertainties of your companion. You undoubtedly become aware of actions or patterns that can point to a lack of security over time. But discussing it with your spouse is the greatest approach to figure out what's going on.
Not always a simple task. Many individuals are reluctant to confess or even talk about their anxieties. In order to wait for your spouse to disclose more, you might need to be patient. Tell them you are there for them and that you care.
The secret is to listen carefully. If they are willing to address the matter, pay attention to what they aren't saying as well as what they are saying. What does their nonverbal communication suggest? What are they acts imply? Some of these insecurity-driven actions can be recognized without the help of a psychologist.
Address What You Can
You can address any conditions or problems you are able to if they're ready to discuss with you (or if you believe you have a very decent understanding of what's going on). This entails looking for doable ways to allay their worries and anxieties via your own deeds. Perhaps you might arrange for a means to be more open about your activities if your partner feels envious and suspicious. You can all agree on some reasonable expectations by talking it over together.
Of course, both couples will have to work hard. Even if you are completely open and honest about your whereabouts, etc., your partner's nervousness won't go away unless she discovers ways to develop trust and get over her fears.
Recall that you can Help, but you can't make the issue go away. Insecurity is pervasive.
Don't Try To Solve It
This is a crucial point to keep in mind while talking about not being able to solve the issue. We think, "Maybe I could fix their problem, maybe I could help them recover," when all we want is for our spouse to feel better.
They need to take action on their own, even though you can be a tool in their rehabilitation. I advise taking into account professional treatment if your relationship or the wellness of one or both of your partners is being negatively impacted by extreme insecurity or anxiety. Talking through these problems with a professional may be essential to recovery, and therapists can be of great assistance with this. I've used therapy to reduce my relationship anxieties on my own personal path.
Consider Your Actions
It might be quite beneficial for you to be particularly conscious of your behavior if you have a spouse who struggles with insecurity in relationships. This shows a great deal of care and consideration, and it may make a significant impact.
Perhaps your partner struggles with feelings of inadequacy and unlovability. Perhaps he lacks confidence and doesn't understand why you would pick him as your partner. You can be aware of how he might interpret your behavior (or your words) in this kind of situation. For instance, you may go out of your way to let him know that you'll miss him and can't wait to see him this weekend when you decide to spend the evening with others. Even if it won't make insecurity go away, it can help lessen it. Such small acts of kindness may mean the world to an anxious or nervous spouse.
Love Them How They Need To Be Loved
Finding out each other's love languages is one of my favorite relationship advice recommendations for enhancing security. Understanding your partner's love language may make expressing support and affection SO MUCH EASIER since the methods we feel and express love vary from person to person. Are you unsure of how to tell someone you love them? Say it in their language of love!
You might not be speaking your partner's love language if you've ever tried to soothe them with a hug but it didn't seem to work or gave them a pricey, thoughtful present but they basically disregarded it. See how you may more effectively express your love to your spouse by learning their preferred love language by reading this fast guide to the five different types of love.
Ask What They Need
Do you want to give your lover a sense of security? Encourage frank discussion of your requirements between you. All you have to do is ask someone if they can tell you exactly what's wrong and how to help them.
Find out what would make your spouse feel more safe, more loved, and less afraid. What can you do to prove your concern for them or your dedication to the relationship? Hopefully you can brainstorm some go-to tactics together that will help you two get closer and feel more confident in your relationship.
And Then Do It
Don't forget to take action once you've spoken about ways you can assist! Remember that your spouse lacks security, therefore this is very crucial. If you don't follow through on what you stated you would do, it might unfortunately make the worry worse or make the situation worse. That's not to say you won't make mistakes; you will, and that's okay. However, try your best to be there for your partner and assist them as they want.
For me and my hubby, he quickly understood how crucial it is for me to hear "I love you" on a regular basis. My worries that my spouse might leave me or stop loving me would be allayed by this. He began doing it when I've been quite confident in his love from the start and throughout time. His willingness to repeat the phrases repeatedly was of incredible assistance to me.
Be Patient
Last but not least, remember to have patience with your insecure mate. It takes time (a lot of time for some of us) for relationships to become more secure, so be patient, kind, and understanding with your partner.
Your spouse should be prepared to make concessions and accommodate you while you work through these issues together. Keep in mind that partnerships require cooperation from both parties if you want to build a deeper sense of security and a tighter connection. But because uncertainty may be crippling, you might have to give more than you get for a while, trusting that your spouse will reciprocate when it's essential. One of the best signs that you're in the right is when you make that type of sacrifice and generosity kind of connection that will last.